OLD LISTON FICTION
Home of the Old Liston Tales by Mark and Simon Jackman and the travel diaries of Mickey Mass.
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THE TOWN
Old Liston is a small, quiet town, not so different to many other rural towns in Great Britain. It has a pub, a church, a marketplace and a small high street.
It's a picturesque town located on the banks of the Liston River, a river that in less enlightened times (up until 1992) was considered by many of the townsfolk to carry Satan's shit, due to its dark colour. The one outstanding feature of Old Liston, which sets it apart from so many other places, is the 50 storey Dritler Corporation Building, a huge structure built as an exact replica of the man who commissioned it: the wealthy newsagent, Chad Dritler.
The building can be seen for many miles around and is known fondly to the locals as "a fucking eyesore." Old Liston has a proud and unique history and a fierce rivalry with its neighbouring town, New Liston. The animosity between the two towns is thought to stem back to around 1870 when a New Liston farmer called an Old Liston farmer a "moron" in the first ever recorded incident of plough rage.
There was a major conflict between 1920 and 1923 which began when the mayor of New Liston declared war on Old Liston after he discovered that his ex-wife lived there. Record books show that the conflict claimed the lives of 83 men, 14 women and a pheasant. It was the death of the pheasant that finally brought the bloody battle to an end. It had been visiting from out of town and the death of an innocent outsider caught up in the crossfire made people realise the futility of their fighting.
Since then there has been an uneasy truce between the two towns, although New Liston's controversial eastern European songsmith, Ted Stankovich, occasionally tries to stoke the fires by releasing offensive anti-Old Liston songs, and an annual name-calling contest takes place on wasteland between the two towns to allow people to say what's on their minds.
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