The Butcher of Babylon featured in over 500 porn films between 1974 and 1982, and was best known for his motto: Come for the butcher, stay for the meat.

 

He had been inspired to start a career in the porn industry after reading the incredible tale of a Japanese man who avenged the death of his sister by going down on her best friend for seven days and seven nights.

 

Some revealing information about the local tattoo artist's porn star past (Shadow of the Badger)

 

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His only real financial failure came at the age of thirteen when, in an uncharacteristic error of judgement, he invested £200,000 of his own savings in wooden socks, an invention that never caught on as he had hoped.

 

Even successful businessmen like Paul Briggs make mistakes in their early years (Shadow of the Badger)

 

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If a wizard should take up residence in your garden and requests food, you are obliged to feed him.

 

Paul Briggs discovers some disturbing information about wizards (Shadow of the Badger)

 

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Suddenly, a voice called from the darkness. Taylor leapt like a salmon, then became rooted to the spot like a tin of salmon.

 

Officer Taylor gets a shock in the woods at night (Shadow of the Badger)

 

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"The hamster-powered hat is the same as any other hat. It keeps your head warm and looks smart,” the inventor said. “The hamster generates heat by running on the wheel. If you get a big enough hamster, it will keep your whole face warm."

 

Luther Pendragon, local inventor, explains how one of his inventions works (There's Something About Dying)

 

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Many great people had been considered to be boring, like Nigel Mansell, but anyone who had read the racing driver’s autobiography, "Clutch Down, Dick Out", would know that perception was way off the mark.

 

Gerald Paperback, the bookseller, knows not to judge a book by its cover (There's Something About Dying)

 

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“Probably your biggest mistake was doing funk-dance to Unchained Melody,” the dog offered earnestly. “It’s a ballad, Alf, and to be honest, it’s one of the slowest songs I can think of. You’d have been better off doing a slow waltz to something with that tempo. The other factor may have been the large amount of beer you consumed beforehand.”

 

Alf Chablis's dog explains to him where he went wrong in the dance competition (There's Something About Dying)

 

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“My mortgage isn’t getting any cheaper and I can’t run that Ferrari on faith alone," Reverend Jones said. "Don’t get me wrong, the Big Man Upstairs does what he can but I’ve never once seen him filling up the tank of my car.”

 

Reverend Jones, vicar of Old Liston, has some financial worries (There's Something About Dying)

 

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Eagles, buffalos and deserts vast,
It’s no good living in the fucking past.

 

Chief Smith recalls his mother's motto explaining her philosophy on life (There's Something About Dying)